Here we are, doing the greeting dance once more. Last night, dreamt of you doing the tango with some other lady — hugs, smiles, and all. Woke up feeling like I’d eaten a bad burrito and spread that vibe to the whole office.
Guess you always hated that about me. My superpower of messing up things with both good and bad vibes, no filter on words or actions.
Woke up in a mood. Sat on the bed, shrugged, took a deep breath, and had a little pity party. “Is this the torture chamber?” I wondered.
Pretty sure I’m 99% done loving you, but 100% sure there’s always a smidgen left. Even if it’s just in dreamland or in my written ramblings.
I’ll love you because you taught me how, and I can’t shake that feeling. Really digging someone — crooked teeth, eye rolls, the whole shebang. Loved it all, deep and wild.
Your eyes, your mouth, your arms, shoulders, and chest. Your voice, what you wrote, and the promises. I was the happiest woman in the world for a minute. Never dreamt of you, and then suddenly, it became the biggest dream of my life.
Thought I cracked the code for my inner kiddo’s questions. Swore the rest of my life was a rom-com with you.
Luis called me loony, Luisa chuckled, Joana said I needed therapy, Ivo shook his head.
Everyone, even you, said no, but I swore yes. Me, the queen of procrastination, lazy bones, leaving today for tomorrow. I stuck to my guns, saying it had to be you. And if not you, I’d sit tight, even if only in my mental VIP lounge.
One day, can’t put a date on it, woke up and didn’t think of you. Then another day. And another. A month. Then, I kissed Matt. Thought, “Alrighty then. My friends had a point. Not an ‘us’ thing, just a ‘me’ thing.”
Thought it was a wrap. My deep love forever etched on this heart with a few cracks.
But then, these nights roll in, I get a little spooked, snooze away. You pop up, solo or with an entourage, reminding me you’re still in the game.
One afternoon, tangled in the sheets, you said with a sad voice:
“You’re crazy.”
“Crazy, why?”
“Crazy for me.”
Yes, I am. And I’m not sorry.
